nf! mMmI nf!
- zf gurimMdr iswDU
 

kuJ lyiKkf vloN :
ieh KLq 1988 ivwc myry qoN iewk axjMmI bwcI ny AudoN ilKvfieaf jdoN AuhdI mF grBpfq leI myry qoN slfh lYx afeI sI qy mYN AuhnUM smJf-buJf ky vfips Gr Byj idwqf sI pr Aus rfq ies afAux vflI qrfsdI ny myry bycYn hwQF ivWc klm PVf idwqI. aTfrF ku sfl pihlF ijhVf inwkf ijhf BwKVf jfipaf sI..Auh hux iewk ivsLfl drwKLq bx cuwikaY……lhU pIxy drwKLq aPLrIkf dy jMglF ivwc suuxINdy ny.. afpxy-afp AuWgy hoey.. asIN ieh drwKLq afp bIijaY.. afp pfilaY.. jMglF nUM Gr bulfieaY.. bhuq sfry drwKLq dyKy ny ijwQy lokF ny suwKF suwK ky lIrF tMgIaF huMdIaYN.. awjkwlH asIN puwqF leI suwK suwKdy hF .. aqy ies drwKLq dIaF sUldfr tfhxIaF AuWqy asIN afpxIaF DIaF tMgIaF hoeIaF ny..- gurimMdr iswDU
(inmn ilKLq KLq pVHx qoN ipwCoN keIaF mfipaF ny afpxIaF DIaF df ies sMsfr ivc afAuxf pRvfn kr ilaf. jy Auh ieh KLq nf pVHdy qF AuhnF dy afpxy kihx muqfbk AuhnF dI hox vflI DI ny mfvF dIaF kuwKF ivc hI dm qoV jfxf sI. ies pwKoN ieh KLq bVI ieiqhfsk mhwqqf vflf hY. ies dI lyiKkf dy hwQ ivc PVHI ikqfb dy bfhrly sPLy ‘qy CpI iek aijhI kuVI dI hI qsvIr hY ijsny ies KLq dI bdOlq ies sMsfr df mUMh vyiKaf. awj Auh solF sqfrF sflF dI muitafr hY.”-sMpfdk)

sQfn:inwGI inwGI kuwK
smF:iekIvIN sdI

myry ipafry ipafry mMmI jIE!
inwkI ijhI imwTI prvfn kirE!
mYN hfl dI GVI rfjLI-KuLsLI hF qy rwb jI awgy ardfs krdI hF ik Auh quhfnUM bhuq bhuq KuLsL aqy suKI rwKy! mYN hfl dI GVI ies leI iliKaY mMmI! ik kwlH mYN iewk snsnIKLyjL KLbr suxI hY. quhfzy ijsm qoN ijhVf lhU myry leI ijLMdgI dy sfry qwq lY ik afAuNdY nf! kwlH jdoN myry kMnF ivwcoN dI gujLiraf qF myry kql dI sfijsL df KLUnI sunyhf dy igaf. kihMdf ik quhfnUM myry DI hox df pqf lwg igaY qy hux qusIN mYnUM ies kwcI Aumry hI afpxI inwGI inwGI kuwK ivwcoN kwZ ky ies pQrIlI DrqI AuWqy ptkf mfrogy. swc mMmI! mYnUM qF ies gwl df XkIn hI nhIN afieaf. mYN ikhf myrI mMmI qF eydF kr hI nhIN skdI, Auh qF iewk kIVI vI nhIN mfr skdI. jdoN myry pfpf cUhI mfrdy ny nf! qF Auh iewk AuWcI ijhI myjL AuWqy KVH jFdI aY. jdoN cUhI dy jLor dI JfVU pYNdY qF cIk mfr ky awKF ’qy hwQ rwK lYNdI aY. ieho ijhI mMmI Blf ieMj ikvyN kr skdI aY? Auh afpxI nfjLuk ijhI bwcI dy srIr AuWqy nsLqrF dI coB ikvyN shygI ?
ieMj qF ho hI nhIN skdf. mYN TIk ikhf nf mMmI?…bws qusIN iewk vfrI kih idE ik ieh KLbr JUT hY qF ik KLrgosL vFg kMbdy myry inwky ijhy idl nUM Drvfsf af jfvy.…bws iewk vfrI kih idE ik myry kMnF nUM BulyKf lwigaY qFik myrI qVp rhI rUh sLFq ho jfvy.
jdoN dI ieh KLbr suxI aY nf mMmI ! mYN itkI hI nhIN. qy myrf XkIn iQVkx lwg ipaf jdoN qusIN ibsqry ivwc pey krvtF ‘qy krvtF lYNdy rhy. mYN eyDr-EDr JUty lYNdI rhI. qy iPr pfpf ny quhfzy kMn ivwc ikhf, “iewk vfrI qkVy ho ky ieh kMm kr leIey…qF lwKF dy boJ qoN bc jFvFgy. pYsf qF pYsf. tYNsLn ikhVf Gwt huMdY, bfhr geI qF iPLkr. Gr kwlHI CwzI qF icMqf, jdoN qoN jMm leI bws tYNsLn eI tYsLn” mYnUM lwigaf mMmI ik mYN vI iewk cwkrivAU ivwc PsdI jf rhI hF. hfie mMmIey! mYnUM vI ies cwkrivAU ivwcoN inklxf nhIN afAuNdf. mYN bhuq dihl geI hF mMmI! myry qF hwQ vI eyny inwky inwky ny. Coty Coty pqfisaF vrgy ik mYN zfktr dI klIink vwl jFidaF dI quhfzI cuMnI vI zor vI nhIN iKwc skdI. myrIaF qF bFhF vI aYnIaF pqlIaF pqlIaF ny.. srHoN dI lYrI ijhI gMdl vrgIaF ik iehnF nUM quhfzI grdn ivwc pf ky aYnI jLor dI nhIN cuMbV skdI ik qusIN cfhoN qF vI mYnUM afpxy nfloN lfh nf skoN! mYN qF nf cfhuMidaF hoieaF vI afpxy afly dvfly af geI dvfeI nfl quhfzy srIr ivwcoN ieMj iqlk jfvFgI mMmI! ijvyN igwly hwQF ivwcoN sfbx dI itwkI iqlk jFdI aY. nf mMmI nf! ieMj nf kirE!
myyrI qF afvfjL vI aYnI brIk aY mMmI! ik myrI koeI imMnq, koeI arjLoeI myry pfpf qwk nhIM phuMc skdI. mYN qF bws prmfqmf awgy ardfs hI kr skdI hF. mYN qF isrPL ieh KLq hI ilK skdI hF mMmI! jy ikqy qusIN iehnUM pVH skoN! plIjL mMmI! ieh KLq jLrUr pVHnf! bfkI KLq qF awKF KolH ky pVHIdy ny nf mMmI!.. bs.. ies KLq leI afpxIaF mmqfmeI, KLUbsUrq awKF nUM polf ijhf bMd krky mYnUM Xfd krnf! mYN iewk iewk hrP bx ky quhfzy awgy ivC jfvFgI mMmI!
myrI gwl mMn lYxf mMmI! myrf ieh dunIaF dyKx nUM bhuq jIa krdY. mYN qF ajy quhfzI kuwK df cfnx eI dyiKaY..quhfzy muwK df cfnx qF ajy dyKxYN mYN! ajy qF quhfzy ivhVy ivwc afpxy inwky inwky pYrF nfl Cm-Cm nwcxYN mYN! nf lY ky idE mYnUM nvINaF JFjrF! mYN qF dIdI dIaF CotIaF ho cuwkIaF JFjrF hI pf lAUNgI. nf lY ky dyxf mYnUM nvyN nvyN kpVy! mYN qF vIry dy qMg hoey kpVy hI pf lAUNgI. pr mYN ieh DrqI, aMbr, pfxI, cMn-qfry qF dyK lAUNgI. ieh qF nhIN nf ihwisaF ivwc vMzy jFdy! ieh qF nhIN nF muwkdy! hfie aMmVIey! mYnUM vI ieh jwg dyK lYx dy! jy qYnUM ieh mnjLUr nhIN sI qF nf KolHdI afpxI kuwK df bUhf myry leI.. nf ivCFdI myry leI ieh kUlLf kUlLf ibsqrf.. mYN afpy iksy hor ijsm ivwc aflHxf bxf lYNdI.. prIaF vFg gfAuNdI rihMdI jF icVI bx ky cihkdI rihMdI. hux jdoN qUM mYnUM ijsm dyx df vfadf kr ilaY.. hux qF nf muwkr. hux.. jdoN qUM hvf ivwcoN afksIjn lY ky mYnUM sfh bKLsLdI rhI hYN.. myry ijsm dy mihl bxfx leI afpxy srIr ivwcoN hr qrHF dI imwtI-gfrf-sIimMt ByjdI rhI hYN.. hux qF nf ieMj kr. swc aMmIey! hux qF myrf idl vI DVkx lwg ipaY.. mYN vI hor kuVIaF vFg bhuq suPLny buxy ny.. myry ies srIr ivwc sYNkVy hwzIaF qy hjLFrF nfVF df iewk sLihr bx cuwikaYY.. qy ies sLihr ivwc bhuq sfrIaF hsrqF qy suPLny qur iPr rhy ny. qyrf iewko iewk PLYslf mF! qyrI iewko iewk hrkq bMb bx ky igr jfeygI ies sLihr ’qy.. lfsLF hI lfsLF ivC jfxgIaF. afpxy aMdr iewk hIrosLImf nf bxf mF! nf bxf!
mYN qyrI DI aF mF! qyrI muhwbq dI sLihjLfdI…mYnUM Gr ivwc AuWqr lYx dy mF! Buwl geI ? jdoN qYnUM myry vjUd df XkIn hoieaf sI qF qUM ikMnI KuLsL hoeI sI, zfktr kol geI sI, KLfs KLfs KLurfk bfry puwC ky afeI sI, tfink ilKf ky ilafeI sI qy sB kuJ afpxy pyt qoN myry pyt ivwc ByjdI rhI sI. swcIN mF! mYN vI AudoN ikMnI KuLsL hoeI sF! mYN qF Edx vI bhuq KuLsL hoeI sF mF jdoN qUM afpxI skYinMg krvfeI sI. mYnUM lwigaf sI ik myrI BolI aMmVI myrI hor 4-5 mhIinaF dI judfeI vI brdfsLq nhIN kr skdI-myry bfry jfnxf cfhuMdI aY-ikMnI cMgI aY! pr ieh kI? ijAuN hI qYnUM myry DI hox df pqf lwigaf qUM kMbx lwg peI. iehdy ivwc eyzI kI gwl ho geI mF? jyy puwq huMdf qF qUM pfl lYNdI- jy DI hY qF nhIN. nf mMmI nf! mYN eyzf nhIN qyry ‘qy boJ bxn vflI. ieh ijhVI dfj dI qy DI dy duwK dI tyk lY ky qUM afpxy PLYsly nUM TIk smJ rhI hYN nf mF! ieh qF inrf DoKf hI dy rhI hYN afpxy-afp nUM. qYnUM vI qF pqY ik ieho gwl nhIN. ieh qF ibwlI nUM dyK ky kbUqr dy awKF mIcx vflf mfmlf hY. ieh QoVHI aY ik afpxI DI nUM hI kql kr idE! koeI hor hwl soco! ikAuN nhIN vIr dy ivafh ’qy qUM ieho-ijhI imsfl kfiem krdI ik iksy grIb dI DI dy KuLsLIaF dy klHIry bMnHy jfx, ikAuN nhIN ibnF dfj qoN afeI BfbI dy bilhfry jFdI? ikAuN nhIN dUjIaF aFtIaF vI eyvyN krdIaF? afiKLr ijnHF dy DIaF ny, puwq vI qF AunHF dy eI ny? ieh kI hoieaf ik afpxI DI nUM mfr idE qy puwq leI mUMh mMigaf dfj lY lE! ieh qF mMmI inrf bhfnf aY bhfnf, afpxy afp nUM gunfh qoN mukq mihsUs krn df. pr mMmIey! rwb dI drgfh ivwc qF nhIN nf koeI bhfnf cwldf! ieh gunfh qF bws dfgL bx ky nfl hI cuMbiVaf rihMdY..
nf myrI mMmI! qUM pfpx nf bxIN! qUM hiqafrI nf bxIN! dyK! kuJ ihMmq qUM kryNgI nf! qy kuJ ihMmq mYN krUMgI qF mYN afpxy pYrF AuWqy KVHI ho jfAUNgI. qUM dyKIN! iPr myry hwQF AuWqy vI mihMdI cmkUgI.. myrI vI sLgnF vflI zolI qurUgI.. mYN vI qyry ivhVy ivwcoN icVIaF df cMbf bx ky AuzFgI. qUM mYnUM ieMj qF nf Auzf! isrPL ivafh hI nhIN mMmI! ieh vI kI pqY ik mYN eyzIaF eyzIaF mwlF mfrF ik sfrI dunIaF ivwc qyrf; pfpf df; sfry KLfndfn df; dysL kOm df nF rOsLn kr jfvF?
dyK mMmI! mYNnUM ieh koisLsL kr lYx dy! mYnUM vI jgq-qmfsLf dyK lYx dy! mYN qyry ipafr df bIj aF! mYnUM afpxI vwKI dI zfl ‘qy Puwl bx ky iKV lYx dy aMmVIey! mYnUM mihk bx ky iKwlr lYx dy mF! dyK mYN qyry awgy inwky inwky pqfisaF vrgy hwQ bMnHdI aF peI..mYnUM mihsUs kr mF! mYnUM bcf lY aMmIey !
hux jdoN pfpf mYnUM mfrn leI qYnUM hspqfl iljfxf cfhux qF qUM aV jfeIN mF! myrf vfsqf pf deIN! AuhnF nUM smJf leIN mF! pr mYnUM mOq dy KUh ivwc sutvfAux leI hspqfl nf jfvIN! qUM myrf inwky inwky sfh lYNdf glf ieMj nf GutIN!
nf !mMmI nf! mYNnUM ieMj byrihmI nfl nf mfrIN!
…nf! mMmI nf!
…nf! mMmI nf!
…nf! mMmI nf!
myrI mMmI iksy qrHF ieh KLq pVH lvy.. bws ieho jodVI krdI hoeI
qyrI msUm ijhI axjMmI DI